The dreaded “I hate school” moment is unfortunately not uncommon for children and teenagers. While this sentiment often stems from a temporary issue, for some, the aversion to school can persist. As parents, we want school to be a place where our children can learn, thrive, and be happy. So, what can you do if this isn’t the case for your child? Here are some strategies to help manage these moments and support your child's educational journey.
Ask Questions
The first step is to find out more. Depending on the age of your child, you might get a lengthy explanation or just a few clipped words and grunts. Try to set a calm and judgment-free tone for the conversation. Many teenagers are more likely to open up when they’re engaged in another activity with you, such as walking, cooking, or kicking a ball around. This less intimidating setting can encourage them to speak honestly.
Address Anxiety
Rates of anxiety in young people are high, and many struggle to cope without support. If you believe your child is anxious, try to determine if this issue is school-related or more generalized. Seek support for your child if their anxiety is affecting their ability to learn. Resources like Kids Helpline and the Royal Children’s Hospital can provide help, and your child’s school may also offer onsite support. It’s crucial to help your child feel calm and safe, as stress hormones can severely impact their ability to retain information.
Identify Social Problems
A fight with friends, bullying, or other social issues can impact your child’s willingness to attend school. Social learning is a significant component of why children attend school, and while social issues usually resolve over time, they can be excruciating for your child in the interim. Offer advice on how to navigate these issues, such as staying off social media for a while, trying a new friend group, or joining a new sport or club to make new friends. If bullying is involved, let the school know so they can intervene. In extreme cases, consider changing your child’s class or school for a fresh start. A tutor can help keep your child on track with their learning during such transitions.
Meet Their Needs
Does your child have sensory needs that are not being met at school? Is the classroom too noisy or too quiet? Do they need more breaks, or perhaps a fidget toy to help them concentrate? This is especially relevant for students with additional needs. Compare what you observe at home with their school environment. For example, do they cover their ears in loud spaces, hate wearing certain clothing, or always play on their chair? These clues can help your child’s teacher create a more accommodating environment.
Evaluate the Workload
When lessons aren’t hitting your child’s zone of proximal development (challenging but not too challenging), they tend to zone out. If your child’s marks are poor, they might be tuning out because the work is either too difficult or too easy. Speak to their teacher for insights. Your child might benefit from additional support, such as school programs for extending or catching up students, or tutoring services.
Ensure Proper Sleep and Nutrition
Starting the school day with a full stomach and plenty of rest can significantly improve your child’s concentration and enjoyment of school. If they struggle to sleep at night, cut off screen time an hour before bed and encourage reading and winding down. A nutritious breakfast that includes protein, fiber, and healthy fats can keep them full longer and ready for the day.
Consider Their Interests
Sometimes, children simply do not like school because their interests lie elsewhere or because they don’t see its relevance. For older teens, consider alternative education paths such as apprenticeships or workforce training. Schools in Victoria offer Vocational Majors, allowing students to pursue career paths aligned with their interests. Speak to your child’s transitions leader for options.
Strategies to Implement
Give Them the Option to Come Home at Lunch
If your child dreads school, offer to take them and let them come home at lunch if they still feel unwell. Often, just getting to school helps them realise it’s not so bad, and they end up staying.
Schedule Rest Days
Negotiating a rest day can encourage school attendance on other days. Schedule a desirable rest day once a month, term, or fortnight, and use it as an incentive for regular attendance.
Speak to Their Teacher
Let your child’s teacher know how they’re feeling and work together to make a plan. Teachers care about their students’ well-being and will do what they can to support your child.
Consider a Tutor
If the issue is academic, a tutor can help bridge the gap. Tutors can also assist with social skills, friendship-building, and navigating tricky social situations. Look for tutors with special education experience if your child has additional needs.
Stay Positive
There are many options and supports available. If one approach doesn’t work, try another. Education is a lifelong journey, and there are ways to help your child regain their love of learning.
Conclusion
Supporting a child who dislikes school can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can help them navigate this difficult time. By understanding their needs, addressing underlying issues, and seeking additional support from teachers and tutors, you can create a more positive and engaging educational experience for your child. Stay positive and persistent, and remember that there are always options available to support your child's learning journey.
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